Everybody give it up for columnar jointing

Woo! Yeah! Woohoo! Yippee! Hell yeah! Woo!

This boomer comic incinerated every “I hate my wife” comic instantly

my brother just called the mississauga towers hot ?

we’re visiting family in mississauga rn and he just said “i havent seen the hot towers in a minute” why would he say that

I find it interesting that the mouth salivates both when we’re hungry and when we’re nauseous. It doesn’t matter if stuff is coming in or out, our throat is like okay boys time to lube up the tunnel

Babe could you have phrased this in literally any other way

its so fucked up how difficult it is to move to another country you shouldn’t need a reason or anything you should be able to show up at the border and be like “the vibes were off back home” and they should let you in

NO NO NO TUMBLR I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SEE WHAT MY MUTUALS LIKED. I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY'VE REBLOGGED. IF IT WAS WORTH SEEING THEY'LL PUT IT ON MY DASH 37 TIMES

Thank you, everyone, who's reblogged this 37 or more times in a row and my apologies to your feeds.

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.

til death or some guy do us part